Getting Closer
The London Fog was already thick in September. The tension in my lower back was killing me after the flight and it would be a long time on this trip before any relaxing could be done. I was staying with an uncle I should probably call soon and my mother.
“I’m in October first,” I wrote in my notepad. The clock struck midnight as I sat staring at the wall in the basement of my great uncles townhome. Writing to the tick-tocks bleeding dizzy sentiments. Reading it back now I’m on the edge of my seat edging my teeth.
It is September 30th 2021 and it feels strange to be releasing music. Amongst all the grief and mourning, it seems out of place to want to present myself as willing to write and sing songs. Spending whatever money I have in hopes of being heard but when the homie on the corner asks for an extra dollar I don’t have it.
We are somewhere in September of 2015. Laying on the floor of my bedroom covered in throw up and stinking of Hennessy, I am supposed to be heading to a fully paid for studio session in New Jersey. The room refuses to stop moving long enough for me to stand straight. My phone has disappeared along with all my written-verses, contacts and links. My wallet is also missing. My confidence is bruised and I’m still over the toilet dry-heaving. I’m telling myself that recording music is too audacious anyway and to accept the omen. The room still refuses to stop spinning.
Earlier this week I announced my very first EP and had to sit down for a few minutes. The dizziness is still there for certain. The answers however are still not. The “path” is still being decoded behind me in the midst of the current stumble forward and the only thing that appears to be clear is that I must release this music even if nobody hears it. All I have is this one experience and to not share it would be a disservice to anyone uneasy with sharing theirs. I wouldn’t be here (wherever this is) if not for the music and stories that I continue to encounter.
TRACKLIST & Back Cover
It is October 1st and I’m up praying that my screams into the void will bounce back one day. Perhaps even from the vocals of other life forms. Until then, turn the volume all the way up.
